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Party 101
Welcome to the party page in wich we feature advice and guidance on serious party issues. Our most recent feature is on how to become a party animal.
This feature will teach you how to become a respectable member of the party society.
Your instructors are:
Prof Martin Fun Montelongo AKA bigBEAR,PMD(Party Master Degree)Univ of P-I-M-P
Prof Nicholas ThoR Strickland AKA PiNkWaLrUs,HD(high School Diploma) Party High
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#1. The Keg Stand
The keg stand is an art, which when mastered is fun. You will need the following:A Keg,at least 2 buff guys like me,and the burning desire to get wasted.
First the 2buff guys pick you up and rotate you to the wheel barrel race starting position. then you start shougging.
Shougging:(verb)upside down chugging.
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Intro: Party Personality
Not everybody is of the party kind. You must have what it takes and let me tell you what it takes. It takes heart, it takes commitment, it takes stamina. But most importantly it takes alcohol.
Also you must meet the profile.if you look like this guy(bottom)then get out of my class. Also if your name is David Micheal Newton then your not allowed into any parties not even your own, neither are you allowed anywhere near my girlfriend,and i will deal with you later. OK if there is anybody left lets begin
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#2. Dancing
If you have any dancing skills youre cut.Let the alcohol do the dancing for you. when in the intoxdancing stage make sure you incorporate such moves as the worm,the sprinkler,the cutip,and my personal favorite the ninja turtle.
Intoxdancing:(verb)Dancing while intoxicated
The Ninja turtle:(Noun) Dance move in which you lay on your back and somebody spins you
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#3. Behavior
Many people get out of control when drunk,they suck. If you cannot keep your underwear on then you will be succeptable to rape. Always and I mean always respect the ladies.Do not drink and drive.Do not mess with any types of weopons.Never try to go swimming and stay away from water i lost a good freind to a kiddy pool.Other than that do what ever the hell you want.
Ill never forget you wheaty where ever you are. I love you KID.
Wheaty (1997-2003)
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#4. Risks
There are many things to take into account. You must understand that your state of mind will be altered(awesome), your judgement skewed and delayed(Bad), you will be consuming outrageous amounts of intoxicating fluids(YESSS!)and you will more than likely pass out. Take necessary precautions to provide a safe yet fun party time.Remember this also,all in moderation. |
